I didn't have any relationships with boys in middle school. I enjoyed the more adult themes they exposed me to like music and movies could.To be honest, that part of my life feels like an uncomfortable blur. I started slowly hating cheer leading simply because it wasn't something I personally wanted to take part in. My parents didn't really sensor anything from me, which feels completely normal to me. We also spent endless hours watching really good movies.It was really hard following some subjects in school. I didn't repeat bad words, desire to do drugs or hurt people or go off and have sex from any of it. He came up to me after a gym class one day and asked what music I liked. All the unusual and cool music from the 90s alternative scene. It was an experience I wouldn't necessarily ever take back, but in the end, it was going to end in a toxic disaster despite the beauty of it all.I started listening to soundtracks from movies, games and shows. I rather bluntly replied "Korn" (a little too honest in retrospect). One was a metal band and the other was a punk band. If I think on it too long, it still breaks my heart. I met a person online by chance who got me into Red Hot Chili Peppers pretty hard.I also started getting into techno-type music from it. He ended up writing me notes every day instead of paying attention in his classes. He also introduced me more into the anime scene and eurobeat and the Talking Heads. I'd wait for months on end for him to log in to AIM and chat with me about literally nothing important haha. I even ended up trying to get a pen pal out of the deal.He wrote about his deep and random thoughts and wrote song or poem lyrics. I still kind of am despite what all is put in here). He'd send me packages in the mail with some cool stuff, and once in a while I'd do the same.The notes were pages long and he'd sketch all over them. He'd also call me and go on these long rants and I'd just listen most of the time. We did end up dating when I found out he was single.
This particular friend I had grown very close to over the years of continuous daily conversation. We talked all day, every day so long as there was an internet connection or cell service. It was an amazing experience to have someone that close to me who lived nearly 500 miles away but just got me in the most perfect of ways. (I mean, c'mon his favorite music is old Hip Hop from the early 90's or late 80's and some random progressive rock bands). Except, this was mostly caused by his infatuation with me, of course. He just kept in touch with me and fell in love with me. Ironically, it's probably his current girlfriend who got me into Mac Demarco. Pursuing the idea of being with me pretty hard after I had already been in a relationship. Ironically, both he and "Kurt" were musicians of a sort with a passion for music.
Looks like the friend I've been having trouble with decided to unfriend me. A big ol' apology for all the times I apparently talked about myself and never about her.
I want to send a message to see if I'm blocked as well but I'm rather nervous I'll bring up a shit storm. she says she doesn't like dating simulators but her icon is the notorious 707 from Mystic Messenger.