Initial stages of dating


You fought to hold on to the relationship to the point of being all-consumed. Still, it’s becoming clear that the two of you aren’t going to make it. Even if the relationship was awful, even unbearable at times, the idea of living without it is unacceptable.You are finally starting to compute that it’s over. ” to “Okay, I give up.” But you still feel anything but okay.The moment you get off the phone with your ex, or the texting finally stops, or you leave each other’s space, you experience withdrawal, and you are hit relentlessly by the reality of the loss.It can be a brutal process, and it can take a long time until you feel deserving of investing in your own independent, reshaped life path.



You understand why this happened, maybe beyond anyone’s ability to explain it.You fixate on things your ex said at various times that you see as contradicting the breakup, and you hold onto them now as if they are gospel.Yet somewhere within, you have moments of clarity, too.You likely swing back and forth between foggy disbelief, the daily, moment by moment rediscovery of the magnitude of your loss, and flashes of painful clarity that . You funnel every last hope into saving it, even at the expense of your well-being.

The pain, disorganization, and confusion can become all you think about, or talk about. It feels like you’ve put everything you are into this relationship. You postpone your need to grieve its end, because it’s just too painful to face. The thought of being without your ex is so intolerable that you make your own pain go away by winning him or her back, at any cost.

But initially, you remain driven to understand what happened, at any cost. In so doing, you temporarily derail the grieving process by replacing it with unrealistically inflated hope that the relationship can still be salvaged. Bargaining You are willing to do anything to avoid accepting it’s over. Of course, you’re not logical at this point (and probably shouldn't be operating heavy machinery).


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