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There's something magical about a fresh start in a relationship, whether it's something brand new or just trying to figure out how to turn a hookup into a relationship. As a wedding planner, I get to hear about how couples meet all the time.In today's modern world, many relationships start much more casually than they did in the past. Sometimes they're cute and traditional, like "we met in line at Starbucks," but more often than not, couples begin in this gray area: "Oh, we hooked up for a few months before I finally had the guts to ask her if she actually liked me or not." So hey, I would know — just because it's a fling now doesn't mean anything for the future.Many of us aren't waiting to have sex, and we aren't establishing boundaries and labels in our interactions with the men or women we're interested in. I can't speak for everyone, but eventually I get tired of this in-between area.So we may end up in this weird area in between hookups and relationships. I want to know if I can text someone whenever I want without looking like a stage-five clinger, and I want to know that I don't necessarily need to make weekend plans because I'll be with him.Most of all, I want to be able to assume that I'm going to see him and hear from him regularly without feeling like I'm totally mentally unhinged.So, that begs the question — how do you push your summer fling into an actual relationship? But if you've been dating or seeing each other for a few months, it's time to broach the social media sea.



These are little signs that your fling could be heading towards some sort of real relationship.Is your routine that you come over on Saturday night, hang out, and have sex? I hate to quote He's Just Not That Into You, but I'm going to do it: If a person wants to date you, they will date you. If you've been acting like you're fine with the hookup, it's now time to start changing your behavior and see if her or she reciprocates.If he or she only wants you to come over and have sex with him, that's not a great indicator that he or she likes you for who you are and wants to spend time with you because you're smart and interesting. Why do you even want a relationship with this person, anyways? Great sex isn't a reason to get involved in a full-fledged relationship, and the comfort that comes with seeing someone regularly is also not a reason. If he or she is a mature human being, they'll be able to handle a conversation about what is going on between the two of you.Make a list of pros and cons to help you clarify what it actually is that you want — and if it's this person or not. Don't pressure them about it, and don't go all '80s romcom on them with crazy declarations of love.

Most of all, don't expect the conversation to resolve immediately. Talk about your childhood dreams, what's going on at work, and how you've always wanted to go back to grad school.

Say something like, "I totally get that you might not have been expecting this, and we don't need to figure it all out right now — I just wanted to put that on your radar." Then, bring it up again in a week or so. )If your relationship has been hookup-focused for the summer, it's time to subtly start changing the focus. If your casual fling doesn't know the real you, how can they want a relationship with you?