I will make you to take off your shoes in my house. And never, ever try to get on the bed with your shoes on. I like to use chopsticks in new and interesting ways. Pro-tip: Refill everyone else's cup before your own, going from oldest to youngest. Prepare for a lifetime of finding knots of long black hairs in the shower drain, in the vacuum cleaner, on the carpet, everywhere, all the time.14. Having been taught to use chopsticks before I learned to speak, I consider them to be the best utensils. If you pour tea for yourself before my Yeh Yeh, you will be judged accordingly. I don't understand why anyone would eat Flaming Hot Cheetos without chopsticks (keeps the Cheetos dust from getting on the fingers). Don't assume I know how to speak fill-in-the-blank-Asian language. Doesn't matter who's with me, when I'm eating out, I'm going to reach for the check first. With parents and aunts and uncles getting into physical altercations over who gets to pay for dinner. I didn't necessarily grow up speaking any language other than English. I'll expect you to pick up a few words of said language if you don't know it already. You'll never be able to get to the check faster than I can! My parents will immediately reject you as a suitor. And don't ask me what that sign says because I probably don't know. But I most likely know how to speak a language other than English. How else are we supposed to talk about other people in public? My parents programmed every second of my life before it was cool for parents to do that. In fact, they'll probably continue trying to set me up with their friends' sons. They might not think you're husband material (yet), but they will like you more if you eat.11.
This satirical piece arises from the personal experiences of the author, who recognizes the diversity of other experiences and histories.The author strongly encourages continuing dialogue on the specificities and nuances behind the exotification, objectification, and fetishization of Asian women.you’re anything like me, identifying as an East Asian woman in our hegemonically¹ White society presents bicultural² challenges in all facets of life.The dating scene, in particular, can be exceptionally perplexing to navigate.
Growing up, Western discourses of beauty overshadowed my developing sense of self.
I presumed that my Asian features needed reconfiguring to be seen as recognizably worthy, yet I also understood the sullen truth that they would never fit the unattainable White ideal. My sisters, it’s time to embrace yourselves and celebrate your Asian-ness.